Thursday, November 28, 2013
"The day we went to Grandma's,
Oh what a fuss she made,
'Wipe those feet and dry your paws,
That carpet's just been laid.'
She put us in the garden,
We had a sniff around,
We pulled up all her flowers,
'Til there were none in the ground.
Well Grandma just started shrieking,
She really got quite mad,
So we gave her some flowers,
To make her feel less sad.
Later on that evening,
All warm and in our beds,
Our tummies started rumbling,
It's time that we were fed.
We went into the living room,
But they were watching telly,
'Come on nan' I barked out loud.
'It's time to fill our bellies.'
We went into the kitchen,
To see what we could find,
'Oh wow,' I whined, 'a loaf of bread.'
'I'm sure that they won't mind.'
Look left, look right,
the coast was clear,
We love the smell of bread,
We grabbed it quick and hurried out to eat it in our beds.
Now for a drink to wash it down,
But the bowl's outside the door.
We went back to the living room,
and paced around the floor.
Well Grandad got the message,
And let us out the back.
We shot straight past the drinking bowl,
And headed down the track.
There was something in the garden
That a Newf just can't resist,
An ornamental pond of course,
With lots of pretty fish.
After clearing out the pond for Gran,
We went back to the door,
pushed it open, went inside.
Dripping pond onto the floor.
Gran she started yelling,
Grandad, well he just laughed,
She said that we were stinking
And had to have a bath.
Cleaned and dried and let back in,
We tried to sit with nan.
'Get off me lap you silly dog,
You're bigger than I am!!'
We got back down and left the room
and went back to our beds,
Two pairs of shoes and a slipper later,
Time to get a snooze.
Breakfast at Grandma's is great,
As we get tea and toast,
But after we were still not full
So we ate the Sunday roast!
We couldn't understand them,
But we knew that we'd been bad.
'F's' and 'B's' were mentioned
Time to look real sad.
We looked at them with our big brown eyes,
Our heads held down quite low,
It did the trick - it always does
We're still their little beaus.
We didn't stay as long as planned,
As Dad he got quite stressed,
Having chased us out of the pond again,
he thought it for the best.
We kid you not, it's how it was.
We're telling you the truth.
The day we went to Grandma's
She got well and truly NEWF'D!!!"
Sunday, November 10, 2013
This is a story that almost defies credibility.
Both Botti and Gia were entered in the Wine Country Kennel Club Show in Napa this weekend. Between Cara's illness and her breaking her patella and tearing her meniscus, she was in no position to get the dogs groomed or handle them at the show. As a result, we did not go on Saturday.
On Saturday night, a new witch, Janet Heym (apparently President and CEO of Tiffany & Co.) without ever asking us why we did not attend the Saturday show, made the following post on her Facebook page:
"Highly anticipated"? The only reason there was a major on Saturday is because we had entered Gia. They did not build a major on their own and had no idea we would have a bitch entered. And how many times did they break majors on Satchel just to break them? At least a half a dozen. More incredibly, Janet Heym's bitch not only didn't win the Open Bitch class on Saturday but finished last out of the three bitches present!!!! What was the whiner whining about?
When the post was called to my attention, I sent Heym a private message explaining why we did not attend and asking for an apology. None was forthcoming. I therefore posted the following on my Facebook wall:
"Here is a great big "fuck you" to Janet Heym for her post, a screenshot of which appears below. We had Botti and Gia entered at a show in Napa today. Cara Drogus NewDay Newfs handles our dogs at shows. (Cara is also the only owner of the dogs with AKC.) Cara is undergoing treatment for breast cancer. While she usually recovers remarkably quickly from her chemo, she has been so weak that she stumbled and fell five days ago, breaking her patella and tibia. While I tried to find the time outside of work to get the Newfs ready, there was not enough time. Nor were we able to line up handlers. But rather than confront me or Cara privately, Janet Heym and her handlers decided to take a shot at me for breaking a major in bitches. I asked her privately for an apology but none was forthcoming. So here you have the President and CEO of Tiffany & Company with utterly no facts upon which to criticize someone yet doing so anyway. And here you have such a person essentially trying to chastise someone with breast cancer. I will have a lot to say to her in person should our paths cross. Perhaps it is enough just to show her lack of character and compassion. Maybe the American Cancer Society will also have something to say about such a miscreant and the company she controls."
Still appalled by her comment, I went to work grooming Gia late Saturday night and early Sunday morning. We were going to the show and going to beat this bitch. When we arrived at the show grounds in Napa, the hag was not there. She didn't show up at all! After making such a big deal about points, she didn't even try to put two points on her bitch.
Well, thanks to the help of Jeff Heim in handling Gia, Gia took Winner's Bitch and Best of Opposite Sex. Where were the cry babies from NCNC? Where was Janet Heym and the other NCNC witches? They, by their absence at the show and no apparent good reason therefor, took a point away from Gia and apparently gave up hope of beating her. You need at least two three-point majors and a combination of points to equal fifteen in order to obtain a championship. Why would the NCNC criticize us, however unconscionably, yet not afford others in the same class the chance of obtaining the two points available on Sunday?
What can you say other than that Janet Heym (and her cohorts like Lynne Baker) are just goddam cowards and hypocrites. When the kitchen got hot, they ran away and hid in classic NCNC style. And contrary to popular myth, no one contacted us and asked whether we had entered the show and would be there on Saturday, nor did we know anyone else who had entered. Exactly why you do not find out who is entered until you get there and have a catalogue.
May they rot in hell for their unfounded and utterly outrageous criticism. They would not have beaten Gia on Saturday or Sunday. And they knew it!
None of the public records available online name Janet Heym as President or CEO of Tiffany & Co. This woman is far more than a fake. Stay tuned.