Saturday, September 29, 2007

Satchel's Protest

Okay, I'm just a wee bit upset with Dad.
He bought me the book "Sailor" and read it to me last night.
It's a kid's book, mind you.
Worse, it's about a Newfie who doesn't swim until he has to do something heroic, blah, blah, blah.
Of course, he bought it for me because I too don't like to swim so I can only conclude he's making a point to make fun of me. (Andrew liked it but that's a whole other story.)
Not funny.
Please send your protests to this blog and, if you know a good attorney, please let me know.


From the Tidespoint, Newfoundland website:

"Sailor is a very unusual Newfoundland dog -- he's afraid of the water! This brings a lot of scorn for Sailor, which also rubs off on his owner, six-year-old Ike, who tries a variety of methods to entice Sailor into the water. Everything fails until one Spring day Ike follows a group of other boys onto the ice. When Ike falls in, Sailor overcomes his fear and saves him. After this Sailor is no longer called a hangashore, but is the town hero.

This is the second collaboration of Cathy Simpson and Joanne Snook-Hann. Their first book, There Are No Polar Bears Here! is now into its third printing."

"This simple, loving tale of a boy and his dog will charm small children everywhere with its lovely illustrations and authentic Newfoundland flavour."

--The Evening Telegram
"Snook-Hann's wonderful illustrations will delight toddlers and preschoolers; Simpson's expert story-telling techniques will attract primary and elementary school children. This charming book will capture a wide audience."

-- The Newfoundland Herald

Friday, September 28, 2007

She Is Free

When The Angels Fall

When the angels fall
Shadows on the wall
In the thunder’s call
Something haunts us all
When the angels fall

Take your father’s cross
Gently from the wall
A shadow still remaining
See the churches fall
In mighty arcs of sound
And all that they’re containing

Yet all the ragged souls
Of all the ragged men
Looking for their lost homes
Shuffle to the ruins
From the leveled plain
To search among the tombstones

When the angels fall
Shadows on the wall
In the thunder’s call
Something haunts us all
When the angels fall

These are my feet
These are my hands
These are my children
And this is my demand
Bring down the angels
Cast them from my sight
I never want to see
A million suns at midnight

Your hands are empty
The streets are empty
You can’t control us
You can’t control us anymore

When the angels fall
When the angels fall

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

A Newfound Prayer For Grandma

A Newfound Prayer
(Patti Smith)

Child with heart so raven wild
I have known you well
I have guarded you in sleep
and with the morning bell
we would tramp the blessed field
ramble through the pine
all my loyalty was yours
all your joys were mine

We would camp upon the bank
to watch the sails that sped
I would offer you my back
to rest your dreaming head
all of our adventures
in existence but a sigh
moccasins as silent
as arrows in the sky

In nature is a song
that from the spirit flows
from the wild I came
to the wild I will go
and grant I meet you there
when time will turn to air
to shepherd you in heaven
this is my newfound prayer.

* * * * *

Grandma, we will always be there for you.

Satchel & Andrew

Friday, September 21, 2007

Grandma Charlotte

Grandma Charlotte left today.
The gates to Heaven were opened wide today.
I loved her more than I know how to express.
She was the most loving, caring, kind and generous person I've ever known.
I can't believe she won't be here anymore.

"If a prayer today is spoken
Please offer it for me
When the bridge to Heaven is broken
And you're lost on the wild, wild sea
Lost on the wild, wild sea."

May the blessed Mary of the Angels wrap you in her cloak of peace.


Monday, September 17, 2007

Crash Test Newfies

Okay, back to some fun; there's plenty of time to scold the GGNRA and the National Park Service.
So here's a video of my buddy Gizmo. He lives in Canada where Park-service nonsense doesn't exist.
This video captures everything you need to know about a Newfie; as Lord Byron said, ""Beauty without vanity, courage without ferocity, strength without insolence, and all the virtues of Man without his vices."
Gizzy's a star now and I'm glad he's my buddy.


Saturday, September 15, 2007

Proof That The GGNRA Is Acting Illegally

Okay, some of you wanted evidence that the GGNRA's alleged "emergency" in closing off portions of Crisy Field and Ocean Beach is illegal. Putting aside the government's disclaimer of any "emergency" before Judge Alsup (do ya think they was lyin?), here is the proof (just sitting there in the pudding).

The following are excerpts from U.C. Berkeley biolgist Megan Warren's May 7, 2007 study entitled, "Recreation Disturbance Does Not Change Feeding Behavior of the Western Snowy Plover":

“The Western Snowy Plover (Charadrius alexandrinus nivosus) is a small shorebird
that has many scattered wintering populations along the Pacific Coast of the United States, including several in the Bay Area. This species has been listed as threatened since 1993 under the federal Endangered Species Act of 1973. For this study I measured disturbance rates, types, plover responses and feeding time in three different sites in the San Francisco Bay Area to explore the link between recreation disturbance and feeding behavior. I predicted that as
frequency of disturbance increased, the birds would spend less time actively foraging and more time alert. However, data showed no significant relationship between feeding behavior and direct disturbance by human recreators."

"This study addresses how recreation affects wintering
populations of the western snowy plover by examining its feeding behavior at several more heavily used sites in the San Francisco Bay Area, where the relationship between shorebird feeding behavior and recreation has yet to be fully explored."

"Crissy Field is readily accessible by car, foot, bike and public transit. This site has also recently (October 2006) changed from an off-leash to on-leash dog area. For this study, Crissy Field was classified as a high-use recreational site."

"Western snowy plover do not feed at Crissy Field, so data on recreation disturbance and feeding behavior comes from the two Point Reyes National Seashore sites."

"Accessibility is the main factor distinguishing recreational use among the
three beaches. Not surprisingly, the urban study site, Crissy Field, showed the highest and most varied recreational use of all the sites. Crissy Field is the only site at which the birds were not found foraging in the evening, and they are not always at the site. Of six survey dates, they were only on the beach for four of them, and not once were they foraging."

"Therefore, it can be assumed that the absence of foraging western snowy plover at Crissy Field is due to other factors, such as quality of the food source available at the site."

"The first part of the disturbance surveys showed by and large that resting plovers do not react strongly to the presence of recreators. . . . Similarly, no relationship exists between disturbance level and alert time.. . .this is . . . an incredibly weak relationship, and cannot be considered significant."

"This study looked at links between disturbance level and foraging behavior of the western snowy plover at three different beaches in the San Francisco Bay Area. The Crissy Field study site did not provide any relevant results, however, the data from the two Point Reyes study sites do not support the hypothesis that western snowy plovers in more heavily disturbed areas devote less time to actively foraging and more time to being alert. Data show no significant correlation between number of disturbances and time spent actively searching or foraging, or being alert while feeding at dusk. These results suggest that direct recreation disturbance is not as significant as earlier thought, and that links between recreation
and western snowy plover feeding behavior are more subtle. Several possible explanations exist for explaining these relationships. The data suggest that as more disturbances occur, more time is spent on searching than on being alert or foraging. Though not significant, this relationship does bring to mind other possible explanations of the trend indirectly related to recreational use at certain sites."

"Though this study had a range of disturbance levels at each site, feeding habitat was not suitable at Crissy Field and therefore not observed."

"This research project is perhaps more useful as an education tool.”

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

No more than 3 months after this study was published, the liars that are the GGNRA, using completely biased "research" from the dog-hater Golden Gate Audubon Society, disregarded the study and somehow found that the minuscule amount of interaction between off-leash dogs and Plovers was so great that an "emergency" could be claimed to shut the area down. The use of its "emergency" powers allows the GGNRA to avoid prior public notice and comment before a "significant" or "highly controversial" closure such as this.

Do you want to know what the GGNRA's own science said about dogs and plovers at Crissy Field? Here is the summary and additional proof (from the mouths of the law-breakers) that no emergency exists in order to avoid the democratic process of public notice and public commment:

"From the 29 surveys conducted from September 21, 2006 - April 18, 2007, the following summary statistics were calculated . . . There were . . . no observations of dogs chasing Snowy Plovers." (National Park Service, June 29, 2007)

So here's the proof. The very people in charge of our parks continue to break the law in order to advance their anti-dog agenda. Only court action will again reverse their lawlessness.

Andrew and I are heading out to Crissy Field in a minute! (You got to fight for your right to party!)

Karazan Satchel, Esquire

Thursday, September 13, 2007

GGNRA, Go Away! (Part 2)

Well, Andrew and I have looked at the question of whether an "emergency situation[]" exists under 36 C.F.R Section 1.5 such that Lyin Brian O'Neill can get away with shutting down portions of the beaches we hang 'round.

We've looked at the recent science and the law, and it just doesn't work for the GGNRA. There just ain't no emergency on this "non-critical" habitat for them Plovers. It doesn't even pass the sniff test.

So, again, we must conclude the GGNRA is acting illegally. We've come up with a theme song to rid the area of these despots once and for all. It goes to the tune of "Home on the Range". Everybody sing along now


In the frontyard of my home
Where no plovers roam
Where no dogs should be allowed to play
Where seldom is heard
An encouraging word
It's City property, let's take it away

Home of the GGNRA
Where the Rangers and Park Police play
Such sadistic games
Under Lyin Brian's reign
Thank dog Judge Alsup's just a heartbeat away

No more home of the GGNRA
It's time those liars went away
Send O'Neill to jail
And his enforcers to hell
They'll get along with Satan right swell

No more home for the GGNRA
Send those liars and haters away
Let's take back our land
We don't need the City's hand
Let the dogs get out and play.

Adidos federales.


Tuesday, September 11, 2007

GGNRA, Go Away!


Dear Superintendent O'Neill:

You are in violation of the Court's ruling in United States v. Barley, 405 F.Supp.2d 1121 (N.D. Cal. 2005). In declaring that an "emergency situation[]" exists under 36 C.F.R.Section 1.5 such that you can avoid public notice and public comment before taking away my beach, you are in contempt of the spirit and letter of Judge Alsup's decision.

Andrew and I ain't gonna abide by your illegal actions -- and the proof is in the pictures. We know you simply hate dogs and are on record as stating, "I will not have dogs running loose in my Park." It's not your Park -- it's the people's Park to recreate as they see fit, and that includes off-leash recreation.

Since you must have forgotten what the Court stated, here are some of its findings. You need to re-read them (or read them for the first time) because those who are our guardians are not going to let you get away with it any more than they did before.

Superintendent, you've sown a bitter crop. We won't let it harvest. It's our obligation to all the dogs, particularly Big Jack. One day when you're drowning at Crissy Field or Ocean Beach, you'll look to use for rescue. We'll have to think long and hard about it. You should hope Dad doesn't have us on leashes.

Satchel & Andrew

Excerpts From United States v. Barley:

"In sum, for more than twenty years, the GGNRA officially designated at least seven sites for off-leash use. This was not accidental. It was a carefully articulated, often studied, promulgation. The responsible GGNRA officials in 1978 and thereafter presumably believed they were acting lawfully. Even now, the government concedes that the GGNRA had full authority at all times to relax the general leash rule at the GGNRA but argues it could have done so, at least after 1983, only via a "special regulation." In other words, the agency allegedly used the "wrong" procedure back in 1978 (and thereafter) even though a "right" procedure to reach the desired result was available and could have been used. The government has not revealed its internal justification for following the "wrong" process. Whatever it was, the justification was abandoned in 2002 with the two-word explanation that it had been "in error." With this ipse dixit, the NPS wiped away two decades of policy, practice, promulgations, and promises to the public."

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

After more than twenty years of consistently approving and designating areas for off-leash dog walking, the GGNRA clearly engaged in an "activity restriction" when it suddenly reversed field, closed all areas for off-leash use, and started citing off-leash dog walkers. Not only did this activity restriction work a "significant alteration in the public use pattern of the park area," but it was of a "highly controversial nature." The whole point of Section 1.5(b) was to allow the public an opportunity to be heard before such a change occurred.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * *

"This affirmance in no way restricts the authority of the superintendent or the NPS to "protect the resource," including the protection of endangered and threatened species. After the notice and comment under Rule 1.5(b), the superintendent is plainly authorized to adopt such closures as are reasonably necessary or appropriate to protect the resource even at the expense of fully closing the park to all off-leash use. Congress has committed the proper balance of resource protection and recreation to the park professionals. Their judgments should be respected by the courts absent a violation of the law. But here there was a violation of the law--a violation of the NPS' own regulation requiring notice and comment before making a dramatic land-use change."

Sunday, September 9, 2007

Of Champs And Pups

Finally, 'Drew and I had a full day at the beach (good riddance Grass Valley).
Fuuny thing though: Andrew was playin with a lab (he's bloody fixated) and the owner (some crazy woman) started yelling at Dad. He got that look and they said some stuff I can't repeat. What's the deal? Uh. "I'm gonna bring my dog to the beach but he can't play." Always the people who are the crazy ones! (The glazed-eye looking one touched my . . . . uh, "little Satchie".)

Anyway to get to today's point: Big ups to Karazan H2 (Hummer) for pulling off a double major last week and nailing his championship at the wee age of barely two. Just look at that big boy. And he's still growin. Gonna be just like his pappy, Gaia! Way to go buddy. (Just don't beat me up.)

I'm also a bit relieved that Huggy Bear found a "proper home" (that's Mrs. P) because Dad had that "I want him" look in his eye. Anyway, sounds like he went to a great home with lots of kids and stuff. We love ya Huggy -- even Aunt Heidi couldn't Bear (get it?) to see him go.

Of course, it wouldn't be "proper" without sending all our love and congratulations to Mrs. P on her 60th (er, 39th) birthday. Everybody, after me: "Every little thing she does is magic . . . . ."



Saturday, September 8, 2007

Andrew Has A Girlfriend

Well, it finally happened -- Andrew's fallen in love.
With a 6-month old lab named "Kona".
I've tried to warn him that "ancestor" rhythms with "incestor" to no avail.
Just look at the two of them -- it's disgusting. He's at least twice her age!!!

And, with love has come that fog-headedness that he already had too much of to begin with. Just look at the poor lad laying in the bushes. Ridiculous!!! He won't even watch TV anymore. This kind of puppy love just won't last.

What, me jealous?
No way.
I got babes coming out my big ears.
I even let them drive my personal ride.

Oh well, one day he'll come sulking back (walking, mind you), heartbroken and looking for his buddy. I'll shun him with some guilt then accept him back. The poor boy just needs to learn life's lessons.

Now get me to the beach!!!!!!!!!


Thursday, September 6, 2007

Of Dogs and Men, Part 2

Andrew and I have been talkin a lot lately about the anti-dog movement, a movement that pervades those who run parks, those who own property they rent, those who feel there are too many dogs and therefore we should all be spayed or neutered and, essentially, those who are ignorant.

We tried to think how to change the hating and perhaps we have found some writing that may lend some perspective to those who feel we are lesser than Man. Take a read and pass it on to those who make these value judgments and seek to impose them on us, who have no vote in the process.

Eulogy of Old Drum
George Graham Vest

“Gentlemen of the Jury, the best friend a man has in the world may turn against him and become his enemy. His son or daughter that he has reared with loving care may prove ungrateful. Those who are nearest and dearest to us, those whom we trust with our happiness and our good name, may become traitors to their faith. The money that a man has, he may lose. It flies away from him, perhaps when he needs it the most. A man’s reputation may be sacrificed in a moment of ill-considered action. The people who are prone to fall on their knees to do us honor when success is with us may be the first to throw the stone of malice when failure settles its cloud upon our heads. The one absolutely unselfish friend that man can have in this selfish world, the one that never deserts him and the one that never proves ungrateful or treacherous is his dog.”
“Gentleman of the Jury, a man’s dog stands by him in prosperity and in poverty, in health and in sickness. He will sleep on the cold ground, where the wintry winds blow and the snow drives fiercely, if only he may be near his master’s side. He will kiss the hand that has no food to offer, he will lick the wounds and the sores that come in encounters with the roughness of the world. He guards the sleep of his pauper master as if he were a prince. When all other friends desert he remains. When riches take wings and reputation fall to pieces, he is as constant in his love as the sun in its journey through the heavens. If fortune drives the master forth an outcast in the world, friendless and homeless, the faithful dog asks no higher privilege than that of accompanying him to guard against danger, to fight against his enemies, and when the last scene of all comes, and death takes the master in its embrace and his body is laid away in the cold ground, no matter if all other friends pursue their way, there by his graveside will the noble dog be found, his head between his paws, his eyes sad but open in alert watchfulness, faithful and true even to death.”

Satchel & Andrew

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Too Hot To Trot, Part Two

Okay, so here it goes: you stand around in the unrelenting heat, waiting to have someone look you over as if they know you, know how you should be, and know how you are not. And they've never even met you!
Then they proceed to open your mouth, grab your chest, check to see your . . . you know, grab your tail, then stare you down again and ask you to gleefully run beneath the sweltering sky. This is called a "Dog Show".

Someone else put it very well, albeit under different circumstances:

"Summer" A Poem

"Oh! Summer's Day!
A day so hot that the fleas on my stomach
are sweating.
...(Excuse me one second.)
...(Please forgive me. Where was I?)
Alone. Adrift in this bleak living hell.
An olive-sized tick on the back of my...
...(Uh Oh. Excuse me.)
(Pardon me again. I'm sorry)
My empty dish mocks me.
Will the folks with the food never come home?
Flies buzz in my brain now. My mouth full of gravel.
I search for...
ah...the hell with it."

Okay, I'm done whining for now. For in the end, Andrew and I were able to be ourselves, laying around as my best friend cooled me off with licks of love.

(Grandma Charlotte -- please get well. I can't live without you.)


Sunday, September 2, 2007

Too Hot To Trot


Just got back from a show in Grass Valley (didn't see either) and dang if it wasn't the hottest place I've ever been (and I don't mean hot in a cool way). One-hundred-and-six degrees yesterday and I'm supposed to run around a bleeding ring like a lunatic. Then they pull on my legs and wonder why I yell -- uh, because it hurts!!! Not gonna say it hurts too much because Dad might take me to the vet and I don't like needles, not even the dang pine needles all over me from the campgrounds. Newfies camping in stove-like temperatures? We're water dogs!!! Okay, at least in theory.

More on the show later but first, huge congratulations to Hummer (he's so big he scares me) on a double major and his CHAMPIONSHIP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"Ch. Karazan H2 (Hummer)". And big congrats to Momma Claire for bringing out the beauty in that big boy. Il fantastico! On another note, little baby "JJ" left for his new home on Friday. We all miss him already, especially Aunt Heidi. Just look at them. Here's to seeing you soon JJ.

Love to Mr. and Mrs. P for putting up with my whining and 'Drew's unwillingness to stay crated. And many thanks to Terri and Dave for all their help. (Gotta meet that babe 'Bella.)

Andrew and I are hitting the sack: we're hot and tired.

Sleep well Preston & Wesley; and Hummer, enjoy your steak - - well done!