Sunday, December 30, 2007

The Unbearable Blightness of "Showing"

Oh boy, what a weekend.
I wish I could say that in a nice way.

I was "showing" this weekend while 'Drew had a holiday at the park.

I'm almost at a loss for words at the horror of it all. The pictures tell thousands of words.

First, the humiliation of the bath is captured digitally for everyone to see from now until . . . the end of time which, could be none too soon given the way I'm feeling.

Then comes the cutting -- look at it; they are taking off my bleeding hair! I need that hair just in case I decide to be a water dog. What are they thinking? Okay, enough on the water dog topic.

Finally, the ultimate in degradation, humiliation, and intolerable suffering. He puts me in some kind of caged enclosure in which I cannot even move while 'Drew is subjected to the same cruel and unusual punishment in the bath torture. He says, "Satchie, I need to put you in there to keep you clean for the show". My first thought is to soil myself but that would mean another round of refurbishing. It's not worth it.

Then there are the two days of running around the ring when all I want to be doing is wrestling with 'Drew. What's the point? The judge (a plonker if ever there was one) has not a clue. They should have used her in the "Where's The Beef" commercial.
Some of the other dogs I spoke with actually like it. Unbelievable!!

I have to figure a way out of the show world. I can't bite anyone because that would not be Newfilicious. Maybe when the judge grabs my unmentionables I could pee on her. Hey, I like that idea if I don't say so myself.

The misery had ended for about a month, and there was some silver lining in the horror. Karazan Wesley (who turns out to be a half brother --- thanks for telling me Dad) took Open Dog and Winner's Dog for his first major, and he's only been in two shows. And, we met a guy who has some relationship with our Daddy, Phantom, who lives in the U.K. There are some puppy pictures of my pappy on So I suppose, in the end and after all the torture, it was worth it. And, now I'm home cuddling up with my best buddy Andrew. Maybe things aren't so bad after all.

Sleep well Wesley. Aunt Claire, you nailed it! Aunt Terri, thanks so much!

I'm on my way to 'Drew because "'Drew, I love you."



Cub the Newf said...

Hahaha!!! Lift your leg and pee on the judge! Great idea, satch. I'm gonna try it. Oh ... wait ... I'm retired from showing ... won't get the chance. Well, let me know how it goes. I'll be picturing the deed as I'm drifting off to Newfie snoreland tonight.


JB said...

Oh, Satchel, you look so sad in the tub and in jail.


Anonymous said...


You really are "scoldy boy"!!!

Augie the Doggie said...

Satchie -

You look great!

Augie the Doggie

Flahaghan the Newfie said...

Come on Satchie, bite the judge and it's over.

Flahaghan the Newfie

Gizmosav said...

Satchie, you are one beautiful boy!! Next time just sit on the judges hands, thats what I did!!!

Hang in there buddy, you have Cow Palace next!